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The Silent Treatment: Sarah-Louise Young on the trauma and stigma of losing her voice
In her Edinburgh fringe show, the musical theatre performer exposes the pressures faced by singers and reflects on her own vocal healing
I had always known something wasn’t right with my voice but, like many singers, I assumed it was my fault. For 14 years I’d worked professionally in theatre, hiding the fact that every few months, my voice would completely disappear. Despite steaming my head over bowls of hot water, giving up alcohol and praying to Dr Theatre, as the final curtain fell on each production my melodic soprano would disintegrate into a husky Tom Waits. A few days of silence and it would return. The shame I felt at losing my voice was paralysing. But why?
All performers feel the pressure to deliver. It’s a competitive industry and if you take time off you can be replaced. Singers have always been held to a different kind of scrutiny though. If an athlete sprains their ankle it’s an occupational hazard – we sympathise. But when a singer loses their voice we question their technique, their lifestyle, even their commitment.
The voice is mysterious because, without specialised equipment, we can’t see it. So instead we judge and speculate. We mythologise tragic stars such as Edith Piaf, Judy Garland and Amy Winehouse who seemed to defy the rules, delivering iconic performances through illness, addiction and fatigue. They say the show must go on … but at what cost?
When I was little I sang for pleasure, but over the years it became something I had to get “right”. I lost the joy of connection with my own body. I’d always sung instinctively until I studied for a postgraduate course in musical theatre. From day one I felt as if I didn’t fit. I had some brilliant teachers, but the focus wasn’t on learning about your own authentic sound. Back in the 90s we were being prepared to fill the shoes of an endless round of West End turns, replicating the precise vocal placement of the last person to play that role. So I strived to manipulate my voice into the shape of someone else’s. As a result I spent the best part of my year at drama school on dreaded “voice rest”.
There were always students on voice rest. You knew us by the thick scarves around our necks even in the middle of summer and the doomed looks on our faces – cautionary tales, sitting out rehearsals while others took our places. Had I been sent back then for a laryngoscopy (a tiny camera inserted into the larynx to observe the vocal folds) they would have discovered two soft polyps in residence. Instead I graduated and embarked upon an endless cycle of work, secret collapse and hidden recovery for the next 11 years. I got away with it until one day, I finally lost my voice on stage during a show. I was mortified.
I saw a specialist and he discovered my cysts which, he thought, had been there since childhood. They were soft, which explained why my issue was sporadic. They often laid low and let my vocal folds vibrate together, hundreds of times a second to create sound. But as soon as I got tired, stressed or ate the wrong food, they would swell up. I would push to make my folds meet, inflaming the cysts further and creating that familiar breathy sound.
The consultant asked me if anything had happened to me in childhood to traumatise my voice, specifically under the age of 10. Suddenly it all made sense.
When I was seven years old I had been sexually attacked in broad daylight. They never caught the man and after the initial distress, I never gave it much thought. But the hand on my mouth, the stifled scream … what the mind forgets, the body remembers.
My consultant and I agreed on self-care and for the next few years it worked. I guested with cabaret megastars Fascinating Aïda, made a BBC radio series with the Showstoppers, left a toxic relationship and gave up my greatest love of all, coffee.
Unfortunately it wasn’t enough. Three years later, performing a show about Julie Andrews for six weeks through bronchitis (the irony was not lost on me), true to form, I finished the run and in walked Tom Waits.
This time the surgeon decided to operate. My cysts had burst and in the end he sliced off less than a millimetre of scar tissue. But it was life changing. Recovery was slow and scary but the result was unquestionable. My voice was healed and singing was, for the first time since childhood, effortless.
I was excited to reveal my new voice to the world but instead industry gatekeepers warned me that if I let anyone know about the surgery I would be perceived as damaged goods. I had to stay silent if I ever wanted to work again. Instead, I spoke to other singers and heard similar stories. We needed to reach out to each other in solidarity not fear.
Eight years on and the world is slowly changing. High profile artists such as Adele going public about their vocal health has helped. Attitudes are beginning to shift. There are many reasons we lose our voices. This happens to be my story but until we feel able to speak up we are all silenced. I hope that in sharing my experience, I can help others to share theirs too.
- Sarah-Louise Young is a performer, writer and director appearing in The Silent Treatment at Summerhall, Edinburgh, 3-28 August
Business
“Jephte Bastien: Crafting Cinema, Challenging Norms, and Championing Authentic Stories”
Jephte Bastien, a multifaceted director, producer, creator, and editor, has carved a unique path in the film industry. From his humble beginnings in Haiti to his groundbreaking work in cinema, Jephte’s journey is a testament to resilience, creativity, and an unyielding passion for storytelling. In a recent interview, Jephte shared insights into his life, inspirations, and the challenges he has faced as a filmmaker.
Early Beginnings: A Childhood of Creativity
Jephte’s love for storytelling began in his childhood. Growing up in Haiti, he would cut out paper silhouettes, align them with thread, and use a flashlight to project characters onto a makeshift screen. This early form of shadow puppetry allowed him to mimic voices and create stories, laying the foundation for his future in filmmaking. Music also played a significant role in his upbringing. As the seventh of nine boys in a large Christian family, Jephte started singing in church at the age of five. His family’s tradition of entertaining one another—through poetry, singing, and dancing—fostered his creative spirit.
Haiti: A Source of Inspiration
Haiti holds a special place in Jephte’s heart. Despite the media’s often negative portrayal of the country, Jephte describes it as a paradise filled with vibrant culture, music, and natural beauty. His early memories of Haiti are filled with joy—playing games, eating mangoes straight from the trees, and forming lifelong friendships. When his family moved to Canada, Jephte struggled with homesickness and depression. Haiti became a recurring theme in his dreams, a place he would revisit mentally to find solace and inspiration. Even as an adult, he traveled back to Haiti frequently, using the trips to rejuvenate his creative energy.
The Church and Early Questions
Growing up in a religious household, Jephte was deeply involved in the church. However, he began to question the narratives he was taught, particularly the lack of representation of Black people in religious imagery. These early questions about identity and representation would later influence his work as a filmmaker. Jephte’s departure from the church was not a rejection of faith but a search for truth and authenticity in storytelling.
A Journey to New York and Beyond
Jephte’s pursuit of his passion led him to New York in the 1990s, where he studied theater despite his parents’ wishes for him to become a lawyer. This decision marked the beginning of his independent journey. He worked tirelessly to pay for his education, immersing himself in the arts and honing his craft. After returning to Montreal, Jephte faced the harsh realities of the film industry. Despite his talent, opportunities were scarce, especially for a Black filmmaker in the 90s. Determined to tell his own stories, Jephte enrolled in film school, where he began to develop his unique voice.
Breaking Barriers in Filmmaking
Jephte’s career is marked by a series of groundbreaking projects. One of his early successes was editing a music video for the song “Due to the Interest” by Garou. Despite the director’s inexperience, Jephte stepped in to manage the set, ensuring the project’s success. The video became a buzz clip, earning praise from industry heavyweights like Luc Plamondon. However, Jephte’s refusal to accept a $2,000 bonus from the director highlighted his commitment to integrity over financial gain.
In 2003, Jephte produced “Haiti Through My Eye,” a docu-series that showcased Haiti’s rich culture and history. The project was a critical success and opened doors for future opportunities, including funding for his feature film “Exit 67.” Despite the challenges of securing funding and navigating the industry’s systemic barriers, Jephte remained steadfast in his mission to tell authentic stories.
The Draft: A Powerful Vision
One of Jephte’s most ambitious projects is “The Draft,” a film about a young Black hockey player whose dreams are shattered by a brutal act of racism. The story follows his journey as he mentors his younger brother, offering a new paradigm for success. Jephte describes “The Draft” as the most powerful film he has ever written, a project that challenges the status quo and highlights the resilience of marginalized communities.
However, the production of “The Draft” was not without its challenges. Jephte faced significant obstacles, including interference from unions and a lack of support from industry institutions, except Telefilm and Harold Greenberg Fund, who supported the project from the beginning. Despite these hurdles, he remained committed to the project, pouring his own resources and energy into bringing his vision to life.
The Struggles of an Independent Filmmaker
Jephte’s experiences shed light on the difficulties faced by independent filmmakers, particularly those from underrepresented communities. In Canada, the film industry is heavily reliant on government funding, which often comes with strict quotas and limitations. Jephte has faced numerous rejections and setbacks, including being blacklisted by medias after an interview. Despite these challenges, he continues to create, driven by his passion for storytelling and his desire to challenge societal norms.
A Legacy of Resilience
Jephte Bastien’s journey is a testament to the power of perseverance and creativity. From his early days in Haiti to his groundbreaking work in film, he has remained true to his vision, using his art to challenge stereotypes and inspire change. As he continues to work on “The Draft” and other projects, Jephte’s legacy serves as a reminder of the importance of representation and the enduring power of storytelling.
Business
Jephte Bastien: The Visionary Filmmaker Behind Exit 67 and The Draft
Whether through his portrayal of gritty urban landscapes or his exploration of the human spirit, Jephte Bastien continues to push the boundaries of cinema. As we await the premiere of The Draft, one thing is certain: Bastien’s journey as a filmmaker is just beginning, and the best is yet to come.
Jephte Bastien, the award-winning filmmaker renowned for his gripping storytelling and raw cinematic style, is set to captivate audiences once again with his upcoming film, The Draft. Best known for his debut feature film Exit 67, which garnered critical acclaim and won numerous awards, Bastien has established himself as a powerful voice in the world of cinema.
From Haiti to Canada: A Unique Perspective
Born in Haiti and raised in Canada, Jephte Bastien brings a unique perspective to his work, combining the rich cultural heritage of his homeland with the multicultural influences of his upbringing in Montreal. This blend of experiences has given Bastien a distinctive voice in filmmaking, allowing him to explore complex themes of identity, belonging, and the immigrant experience with authenticity and nuance.
Breaking Ground with Exit 67
Bastien burst onto the scene with his first feature film, Exit 67. Released in 2010, the film tells the story of a young man named Jecko, who is caught between the world of street gangs and his desire for a better life. Drawing from his own experiences and the reality of many young immigrants in Montreal, Bastien crafted a gripping narrative that resonated deeply with audiences and critics alike. The film’s success earned Bastien a Genie Award, cementing his status as a filmmaker to watch.
The Draft: A New Chapter
With his latest project, The Draft, Bastien is poised to once again capture the imagination of viewers. While details about the plot remain under wraps, the film promises to explore themes of power, corruption, and the human condition—elements that have become hallmarks of Bastien’s work. Set against a backdrop of political intrigue and moral dilemmas, The Draft is expected to be another compelling addition to Bastien’s filmography.
A Filmmaker with a Mission
Beyond his artistic achievements, Jephte Bastien is a filmmaker with a mission. He aims to tell stories that reflect the realities of marginalized communities and challenge societal norms. His films often delve into difficult subjects, shedding light on issues such as crime, poverty, and the immigrant experience, all while maintaining a deep sense of humanity and hope.
Looking Ahead
As Jephte Bastien prepares for the release of The Draft, anticipation is building among fans and critics alike. With his track record of compelling storytelling and his commitment to exploring important social issues, Bastien is sure to deliver another thought-provoking film that will leave a lasting impact.
Whether through his portrayal of gritty urban landscapes or his exploration of the human spirit, Jephte Bastien continues to push the boundaries of cinema. As we await the premiere of The Draft, one thing is certain: Bastien’s journey as a filmmaker is just beginning, and the best is yet to come.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt19799652
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3904454
https://www.instagram.com/the_draft_movie
Business
“Spark Davidson: The Visionary Behind Montreal’s R&B Revolution”
THIS IS THE TRUE STORY OF SPARK AND HIS HUSTLE THAT NEVER STOPS AND NEVER SLEEPS AS HIS DREAMS BECOME REALITIES AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE BIGGEST HE CAN IMAGINE.
“Jephte Bastien: Crafting Cinema, Challenging Norms, and Championing Authentic Stories”
Jephte Bastien: The Visionary Filmmaker Behind Exit 67 and The Draft
“Spark Davidson: The Visionary Behind Montreal’s R&B Revolution”
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